““The reason it hurts so much to separate is because our souls are connected. Maybe they always have been and will be. Maybe we’ve lived a thousand lives before this one and in each of them we’ve found each other. And maybe each time, we’ve been forced apart for the same reasons. That means that this goodbye is both a goodbye for the past ten thousand years and a prelude to what will come. When I look at you, I see your beauty and grace and know they have grown stronger with every life you have lived. And I know I have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you but you, for your soul and mine must always come together. And then, for a reason neither of us understands, we’ve been forced to say goodbye. I would love to tell you that everything will work out for us, and I promise to do all I can to make sure it does. But if we never meet again and this is truly goodbye, I know we will see each other again in another life. We will find each other again, and maybe the stars will have changed, and we will not only love each other in that time, but for all the times we’ve had before.” — Nicholas Sparks”—qoutecatalog
To That Person I Fell In Love With When the Timing Was Just Not Right
First of all, let it be known here and now that I did love you. I was only ever cold to you that one time because I cared too much. I didn’t know how I was supposed to act when you heightened such a keen sense of passion in me. I could never think normally when I was around you. Some say that infatuation is different from love but what I felt for you bordered in between. I loved you despite your faults but I also crushed on you like you were the best thing since coffee. You woke me up. You did wake me up.
I was raised by vintage Harlequin books that I used to secretly read when my parents weren’t around. I used to believe that love was breath-taking, consuming and potent – it was all these things and more. Love has the ability to break you down like a mere puzzle piece. You thought you were a complete picture. That you have everything figured out. Here I come, world, be ready because I am here to face you. But one person can come into your life and make you rethink everything. And I mean everything. They will make you ask questions that you never dreamed of before. They will make you want to be better- be someone they would never dream of leaving. They will make you cling to them like a life raft, how can you live without them now when you couldn’t even imagine how life was before you met them?
Here comes the kick: “It’s not you, it’s me”. I could kick myself for using that line. How original can I get? But it couldn’t be any truer. I loved everything about you but I hate everything that I am becoming because of these feelings I harbour for you. I’ve become someone who’s constantly afraid of fucking up because I just can’t imagine losing you that I have lost myself in this process of wanting to be yours. I want to be the person who sees how the morning light touches your face while you’re still sleeping peacefully. I want to hold your hand. I want to take silent walks with you wherein we don’t even need to talk. I loved the totality of your person but I just don’t like me anymore.
I know that loss is bound to happen but I just can’t get the fear out of my head. You might think that I am departing because I don’t want to lose you. That is partly true. But really, I am leaving because I’m losing me. I wish you the best in life. Truly, I do. Nothing would make me happier than to see you happy even if I am not a part of your happiness. Make music. Live the life you want to live. You deserve nothing less than genuine happiness. Maybe someday you’ll meet a person worthy of you. And maybe I’ll meet one worthy of me too.
Maybe someday, we’ll meet again and realize that we were always meant to be but we just met when the timing wasn’t right. Maybe we could try again. And we can finally take that walk.
I will admit that sometimes I really do wonder if you exist.
There is a part of every little girl’s heart that envisions her prince charming. At age three, it is usually of a man who can save her from the wrath of an evil stepmother, wake her from eternal slumber or give her that true love‘s kiss.
In elementary school, he becomes the boy with the least cooties, the one who’s willing to cross the playground to share his oreos even if it makes him a target for the week of all the other boys.
Come high school, it’s that boy you stand with at prom, who your father stared down at the door, who provided you with an experience complete with photos you will cringe at a decade later, a corsage that yellows in the refrigerator, and a faded memory of a night that seemed almost too magical to be real.
Nineteen years into this life, however, and still unwilling to give my heart away, I am still the same little girl who hopes for her prince charming. And although I wonder why it has taken you this long to sweep me off my feet and whisk me off to your palace on horseback, I know that it is probably becausemeeting you will be better than any fairytale I could’ve read as a kid.
A couple of heartbreaks and a few years wiser though, I will admit that there are times when I question your existence. Because I have yet to meet the guy who makes me hear song like “All My Life” or “A Whole New World” in my head when I see him does not mean I don’t hope that it’ll ever happen.
I may already know you or may still meet you someday—something I leave completely up to God because I’m pretty sure our story will be epic.
However, I can’t promise you that I’d make the world’s most perfect princess. In fact I’ll probably keep you on your toes and amuse you with my eccentricities—there are a lot of them. I’ll probably steal a bunch of your t-shirts and turn them into shirt dresses, or drive you slightly mad with my obsessive compulsivity and my need to fix your collar constantly.
I can promise to be your best friend however—that person you can rant to after a rough day, the hand you can hold when you get sad, or the person you can text when situations get awkward.
I’ll probably mess up your hair sometimes and hug you for too long, but that’ll only be because I absolutely adore you. I’ll bury my head in your shoulder during scary movies and make you feel like superman when you kill those flying cockroaches that really shouldn’t exist. I’ll cook your favorite food on your birthday and try my best to make friends with your mom.
I’ll respect your night-outs with the boys and make you seem like the perfect guy to my barkada. I’ll watch basketball or soccer games with you, and not complain when you cheer too loudly at the TV set.
I’ll know the difference between giving you space and being constantly there for you—even if it means sitting and playing video games with you or taking hot chocolate runs when it rains.
I’ll listen to your music and we’ll go on epic adventures together—seeing the world, taking awesome pictures, eating awesome food and never running out of things to tell each other along the way.
I won’t be waiting for you to sweep me off my feet and take me on a magic carpet ride, because I know I won’t need anything like that to fall for you—I will love you for you.
You will be that someone to make goofy faces with in pictures, to lace butter fingers with when I’m lonely, and to take long walks under the stars with on the beach.
You’ll be the guy who takes me the way I am—and will laugh as I burst into Disney song or pick out pink wallpaper.
You’ll be that someone I envision a future with—us filling out visa forms as we travel the universe, picking out our first dog together and arguing about what to name it, or being snap-happy stage parents in our preschooler’s annual miniplays. And I keep hoping that maybe someday when we find each other. You will become that someone whose smile I wake up to in the morning and the last one I speak to every night.
So to the man I know does exist, and who will help me maybe make sense of the world someday, this man I can’t wait to love. Please know that I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you. But for now, I wait. Fingers crossed and palms held together, I hope that you’re out there somewhere, waiting for me, too.
“Mia: Nandun yung Petronas Towers. Yun yung dalawang mataas na buildings. Ang ganda ganda nun, paborito ko yun. Minsan naiisip ko magkausap yung dalawa e, kasi para silang magka holding hands.
Allan: Anong sinasabi nila sa isa’t-isa?
Mia: Masaya ako kasi kasama kita.
Allan: Ako rin.”—
“May mga bagay na panahon lang ang makakapagturo sayo. Tulad ng kung gaano mo kamahal ang isang tao. Madalas malalaman mo na lang kung gaano mo sya kamahal kapag wala na siya sayo. And when you lose that person, you lose a part of yourself too.”—#missyoulikecrazy